Welcome to this the 2nd Over the Edge Rally. and the wedding of Stan (aging but relatively cool, suave sophisticated biker dude, who on certain occasions has been known to wear a dress! and scarily he looks quite good in it!) to Jane (a young sexy, sweet angelic faced sex kitten) only goes to show love is truly blind (and yes, for those who don't yet know her, she does wear specs!). So what's on (please note this is the pre-alcohol consumed format so things could and most probably will....change.

Friday: With the journey to the boat completed, it's time to sit back and take a relaxed cruise to the sun drenched shores of the Isle of Wight, of course in reality you spend nearly and hour imprisoned on a ferry packed with coach loads of kids all eager to fully utilize their vocal chords, and being scowled at by old ladies on their way to the International Convention for Wrinklies. And, as they sit there in Nora Batty wrinkled stockings discussing the latest in colostomy bags and the finer points of Stannah chair lifts, you'll be sitting there all eager to get astride your motorcycle and head off into the deepest darkest depths of planet Isle of Wight, whereby new challenges await you:
The Roads: Even for those already acquainted with our roads a shock is still inevitable-please Take Care, coz even if that group of old ladies you sat opposite don't get you in their BMW Z3, we have a whole host of indigenous breed hazards to keep you alert, potholes, diesel spills,and every form of animal and bird, all of whom enjoy the humorous sport of roadside Russian roulette, God I do so love a rural ride out!

Booking in: Firstly, congratulations on arriving safely at the site, where you will be warmly welcomed by a member of our professionally picked team of controllers and booked in. naturally being astute and totally organized you would have already filled in the bottom of your ticket (as if!) and once handed over you will be handed a badge, bin liner, side stand block and wrist band then politely directed towards the camping area.

Food: The campsite has its very own kitchens and dining area, which will serve breakfast, dinners and other meals throughout the weekend up until about 22:00 each night, after which food can be purchased from the on-site burger van, allowing Clive and Sue plus staff the chance to either join in the party or shuffle off to bed to catch up on some beauty sleep, not that it's needed!

Bar: Located inside the marquee, Jim and staff will again do their utmost to meet your alcoholic beverage needs, whilst still displaying their much acclaimed professionalism and polite, politically correct demeanors (who writes this crap?). They'll be running around like a bunch of headless chickens drenched in beer and by the end of the night, be perfectly able to hold conversations in the universally accepted linguistic tongue known as beer bollox and intellectually challenged due to the lack of air to the brain coz the beer got there first, therefore temporarily challenged by even the simplest of tasks. Luckily everyone should be in the same boat - so no one will notice.

Entertainment: Friday night is dedicated to Stan's stag night and Jane's hen night, fancy dress is optional but the preferred code of dress - with the emphasis on the fun-fetish-fantasy theme, if we need to explain, what are you doing at this rally?! A disco will be on hand to provide a medley of music to the mayhem - whilst on stage, on chairs and on tables, a pole dancing and stripping contest will take place. Anyone wishing to flaunt their bits is welcome to do so, and Jane has reluctantly agreed to judge the well toned muscular men, and Stan after much persuasive prodding, to do the same for the women, well it is their last night of freedom!

Saturday: The Wedding: Okay the big day - well for Stan and Jane anyway, anyone wishing to escort the bride to the rally site should be ready to leave The Countryman pub, just outside Brighstone by 5:00pm. A short ride - (hell, have you seen Mr. Duff's combo!) to the site - then its into the marquee for the short wedding ceremony, a dress code doesn't actually exist, whatever you wanna wear is okay with us. Please note that besides bikers there's gunna be a really mixed crowd, builders, ex-squaddies and individuals from the fetish scene, all of whom are there for the wedding (actually most wanna party and get pi**ed)as if any excuse is needed for such nobel acts. So, we hope that everyone will respect each other and enjoy partying and drinking together.
Right the service and socializing bit done now - Stan and Jane will probably split the scene for a quicky, or two (God I love small white undies, actually I'm pretty partial to every other colour of undies too).
The food and bar will be open, so get yourselves ready for the evenings entertainment. Not only two excellent bands, Mechanix and Risky Business, but a chance for the more exhibitionist to enter the fashion show, or maybe have a go at stripping or pole dancing.

Sunday: Early Evening 5:30ish: A number of really dumb games will be held before we retire to the indoor swimming pool for the Mr. Speed and Miss Swim wear contest, anyone wishing to compete should approach Stan during the weekend for details. There will also be a couple of swimming/ wet games for those man, or woman enough to take part.
Sunday Nite: After Wedding Party: Two bands, Shybus and Camouflage will provide the sounds, fashion shows, Mr. Speedos' / Miss Swim wear will provide the visual effects and the strip and pole dance final will provide the climax, oh and there's trophies, a raffle and a chance to verbally abuse the organizer's (especially Stan!) - all aided with copious amounts of alcohol and oodles of food - blimey I might just get myself a ticket!

Well, that's it, any changes or things we may add will be posted at strategic points throughout the site (that means bar and food areas)

Footnote: OOPS nearly forgot: Anyone/groups who wanna have a go at the karaoke contest - remember to bring down the music this year - cos twenty Welsh tone deaf singers has cost me a fortune in therapy, and you gotta dress the part too!
Rally Virgins: Will be dealt with in our own civilized and dare I say lenient way on the Sunday nite. Anyone entering the fashion show, note that it is for alternative and nightwear (all entrants will receive a really crap tacky cheap prize) I should know I bought them.
Local Attraction Concessions: Once again through some amazing feat of forgetfulness some of our local touristy places, have offered discounts for rallyists, all you gotta do is show your rally ticket - a list of attractions will be available at the control/beer/food areas, oh and toilets (well there's never enough reading material in your average bog is there?)
Site Amenities: An indoor swimming pool is on site and available for us to use throughout the day and early evening, so bring your swimming gear, cos their ain't nothing like a mouthful of chlorine in the morning to take away the taste of stale cigarettes and beer.
Drying room and clothes washing facilities are available should you require them, of course in the event that all your change of clothes are lost in transit, pants and socks can be merely turned inside out for additional wear, although this may have an adverse affect on friendships.
Showers and toilets can be found around the site, and should the latter get blocked or develop any problems, please don't hesitate to contact Stan, who with a jaunty whistle and smile will be only too pleased to encase himself in rubber (oh god, yes please) and attempt to alleviate the problem.

Control Area: Besides booking in, anyone needing other forms of assistance should head to the control. All questions and queries will be dealt with as professionally as possible or, more likely, you'll be confronted by a vacant stare and an even more vacant response, note that whilst beer is an excellent way of stimulating response from those in control, too much stimulation of this kind can have an adverse effect.
First aid: can be obtained from a number of persons on site, however should anyone have the misfortune to suffer a body harming incident, the pain they feel is but a drop in the ocean to what our First Aiders are capable, and willing, to hand out.
Mechanical problems: A variety of tools including battery charger will be available from the control if needed. For anyone suffering emotional problems, see Stan, cos after talking to him you'll seem as normal as everyone else, failing that there's the bar.

Okay, now this really is the end of the Over the Edge Rally encyclopedia. We'd like to thank everyone for cumming, ooops we mean coming and a mega thanks to the 'Co' part of the team, who's tireless help and assistance, not to mention attempting to read and rewrite my writing, have made this event not only possible, but very nearly a pleasurable experience.

Party Time!!